Eilat Aviv
Eilat Aviv

From the journal of an Israeli girl in Jerusalem:

It starts out of nowhere. You just hear sirens, a lot of sirens. And you know – something bad happened. Something major.

Something that makes your spine shiver. And you start to worry, worry about your family. Your loved ones. Your friends. You know, you will hear it soon in the news. And within this gap – where you know something happened, but you don’t know yet what – you’re numb.

You turn off the music you heard on YouTube, because it just doesn’t feel right. You sit, and wait. And stare at the air, numb. That’s how it feels.

And then, news flashes, messages, people are looking for you, and trying to figure out if you’re okay.

You worry, you start thinking, “What if?” What if I was there, my family, or my friends. And then you get a bit angry with yourself because it’s someone else’s loved one.

And then the sirens are slowly fading… and life goes on. Like this, like nothing happened. Dogs are barking, birds are chirping, my cats are asleep, cars are running… and I am still numb.


Even when it’s not a terror attack, that’s what goes through your head. And you can’t help it, because you keep thinking what’s next? When will the next terrible thing will show up?

This is the Israeli reality.

Firefighters and rescue personnel at the scene of a bus bombing in Jerusalem, on April 18, 2016, leaving at least 21 people injured. (Nati Shohat/FLash90)
Firefighters and rescue personnel at the scene of a bus bombing in Jerusalem, on April 18, 2016, leaving at least 21 people injured. (Nati Shohat/FLash90)

Contributed by Eilat Aviv, member of CAMERA – supported group CAMERA at Hebrew U.

Apply for the 2016-2017 CAMERA Fellowship here!

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